Back in the day, action movies were built on square-jawed assholes with bulging muscles and comically large machine guns, representing the finest cuts of beef that America (or, you know, Austria) had to offer. Then John Wick happened, and it became cool to have action stars who were lean and vicious instead of loud and mindless. But no more, says Netflix! We want big goons blowing shit up and screaming while they charge at a monster with a chainsaw strapped to their gun! We want Gears Of War!
According to Variety, Netflix is moving forward with both a feature film and an “adult animation series” based on the series of hit video games, with the “potential for more stories to follow.” Developer The Coalition, which runs the series now after Microsoft bought it from original creator Epic Games, is working with Netflix on the adaptation—but that’s all we know. Variety doesn’t even say if the movie will be live-action, but it is implied (because otherwise why point out that the follow-up series will be animated?).
What we can say, though, is that the Gears Of War video games are pretty cool for how completely dopey they seem on the surface. Set in a world where a mega-fascist global government has just squashed a rebellion by ramping up its military to a comical degree, the games take place after an enemy army called the Locust Horde has emerged from below the surface of the planet to brutally wipe out the humans—who they hate for, spoiler alert, reasons. But the most important thing is that you get a gun called the Lancer that has a chainsaw attached to it, and it’s so important to the Gears Of War brand that Netflix could cut out all of the established plot and characters and still come out with a solid Gears Of War movie as long as it features a guy ripping a monster apart with a chainsaw-gun.
No cast or filmmakers have been announced, but we’re going to start the hashtag campaign right now to make sure Netflix gives John DiMaggio—who voices main Gears Of War protagonist Marcus Fenix—some kind of role. #LetJohnDiMaggioBeInTheGearsOfWarMovie? Something like that. Oh, also: #PutMadWorldInTheTrailer.
