This week’s “Saturday Night Live” cold open kicked off by addressing Donald Trump’s indictment, of course, with cast member James Austin Johnson’s spot-on Trump impression being put to good use as the former president performed various cover songs to fund his legal defense.
“Hello thank you, it’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me,” Johnson’s Trump began, Taylor Swift-style, before addressing the heart of the matter: “Well folks it happened, I got indicted. Or, as I spell it, indicated.”
He then explained that as he faces consequences for his crimes (“What the radical left democrats are doing to me is worse than any crime ever committed”), he’s launching an album of cover songs called “Now That’s What I Call My Legal Defense Fund.”
“I’ve been opening my rallies with my wonderful song ‘Justice for All,’” he said, referencing the very real song that Trump and those imprisoned for their actions on Jan. 6 released. “It was the number one downloaded song. We beat ‘Flowers’ by Miley, which as we all know is about Liam.”
The sketch then found Trump, infomercial-style, singing various cover songs from “Hard to Handle” to “Islands in the Stream” to “Because I Got High.”
“Just 30 classic covers, all horrible, sung by your favorite president to defend our movement and mostly myself,” he explained. He even brought out Kenan Thompson as Don King for support.
“I’m a fighter and speaking of fighting and taking advantage of fighters, here’s my good friend Don King,” Austin’s Trump said.
The sketch also found him addressing reported tensions between Trump and Melania Trump.
“Speaking of love, me and the first lady Melania are in high spirits. Since the news of my probable imprisonment, I’ve never seen Melania happier,” he said. “She’s the most beautiful woman in the world, second to only younger, more beautiful women.”
And of Stormy Daniels, he said, “Also just to set the record straight, I didn’t even sleep with Stormy Daniels but in many ways I did. And isn’t it ironic that the first time I try to pay someone, they send me to jail? That’s why you don’t pay people, folks.”
The sketch was laced with Trump’s tendency to take advantage of his supporters, with Trump saying, “If they can come for me, they can come for you too. Or in the case of January 6, they can come for you and not for me. I like that one a little better.”
And of possible imprisonment, “Perhaps I might even become receptive to the teachings of the prophet Mohammed. Although I’ve never seen any pictures of him, kinda sus.”
The sketch ended with Trump bringing out Mikey Day’s Don Jr., who was aptly introduced as “my Kendall Roy.”
Watch the cold open in the video above.
