Most of us will see Loving Bear Puffy—a human-sized stuffed animal with the head of a dopey bear and the body of a squishy adult man—and react unfavorably. This, the Frankenstein-like creators of the bear assure us, is perfectly natural. As Loving Bear Puffy’s official website states, “what makes Puffy unique and different from all stuffed toys is his human body shape” and that “unique” quality may require his owners, and the world at large, to “take some time to get used to him.”
Loving Bear Puffy, made available just in time to serve as a memorable Christmas gift for your least favorite family member, was created by a quartet of visionaries who dub themselves “Team Puffy” in honor of the ursine god they’ve collectively birthed.
Standing 67 inches or five-foot-six and weighing a lean seven pounds, Loving Bear Puffy costs $160 USD and is promised to provide all kinds of benefits. We’re told that “he significantly reduces the feeling of loneliness,” provides “a healthy hug,” supports “back, neck, and knees,” and “becomes part of the family.”
Somewhat ominously, the website copy says that Loving Bear Puffy “is always at home waiting for you.” Under an all-caps heading titled “ATTENTION,” we’re told that Puffy’s “human figure and size” mean that he may be a somewhat disconcerting object at first. “But,” the website explains, “we assure you that very soon you will get used to his presence and will only enjoy and cuddle him.”
Because Loving Bear Puffy will “arrive with no clothing of his own” (which, by the way, looks like this), buyers are encouraged to “choose how to dress him” in “men’s clothing sizes L-XL.” The company has done exceptional work showing off some of the fashion choices Puffy might embrace under your care—and images of him spending time around the house, out in public, and while you’re hard at work.
Here is Puffy enjoying a day at the beach with his human handler, for example.
And here is Puffy cradling a woman in a living room, the look on the couples’ faces hinting that they’re about to announce that the man-sized bear is your new stepfather.
Finally, here is Puffy just sort of rubbing his strange hand over a woman’s face while staring blankly at the ceiling of his new bedroom.
We don’t see how anyone could look upon these images of Loving Bear Puffy and not want to take him home for themselves. Fortunately, his store page makes it seem like you may not have much of an option.
“He will soon be with you,” his description concludes. “Cuddle him!”
[via Boing Boing]
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Monica has a BA in Journalism and English from the University of Massachusetts and an MS in Journalism and Communications from Quinnipiac University. Monica has worked as a journalist for over 20 years covering all things entertainment. She has covered everything from San Diego Comic-Con, The SAG Awards, Academy Awards, and more. Monica has been published in Variety, Swagger Magazine, Emmy Magazine, CNN, AP, Hidden Remote, and more. For the past 10 years, she has added PR and marketing to her list of talents as the president of Prime Entertainment Publicity, LLC. Monica is ready for anything and is proudly obsessed with pop culture.