What happens when you date the wrong person, and they ghost you? Also, does the fact that you have terrifying superpowers come into play?
I ask because when you get ghosted, you want revenge. It’s human nature. For this reason, anyone who ghosts She-Hulk is kind of dumb.
Let’s talk about She-Hulk episode 1-7, the one with..personal growth?
Third Date
Even in a swipe-right culture of online dating, the old rules still apply. The first date is the getting-to-know-you date.
On the second date, you speed up the relationship now that you’ve decided you like the person well enough.
During the third date, well, you know the deal, as does Jennifer Walters.
I say this because she third-dates that dude Josh’s brains out at the start of the episode.
First, there’s a delightful montage that shows their dates. Then, there’s the morning after. That’s when Jen wakes up happy. Happy but alone.
Josh is nowhere to be seen, but she isn’t worried. He’s probably got a job and had to leave for work, right?
Happy Jen sends him a text about how she can’t stop smiling, which is also the text you’ll find in Chapter One of Modern Dating No-Nos.
After a few hours, Jen sends a few more texts despite showing every sign of being ghosted.
At work, things are going great, though. She-Hulk has earned a nomination as Female Lawyer of the Year, which I’m 90 percent sure is a Futurama reference.
By the time Saturday rolls around, Josh hasn’t returned any of Jen’s MANY tweets. She suspects that something is up.
She’s right…but not for the reason she thinks. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
That Poor Prius
Jen does receive a phone call. It’s from the parole officer for Emil Blonsky, who calls the attorney on a Sunday.
This guy, Chuck, has noticed a “malfunction alert” on Blonsky’s inhibitor. Chuck worries that The Abomination may be back.
The parole officer remarks, “I figure my chances of staying out of the ICU would be much greater if I had a Hulk there with me.”
With nothing better to do on a day off, Jennifer Walters heads to “Summer Twilights,” the “wackadoo ranch” where Blonsky lives with all his soulmates.
Oddly, none of them appear during this episode, though. Instead, Blonsky has evolved into some sort of self-help guru.
In fact, Blonsky is doing great. He apparently damaged his inhibitor while trying to help his “favorite chicken, Princess Silk Feather.” There’s a lot to unpack there.
Chuck fixes the device while making it clear that he doesn’t like to make house calls to the place that scares him, a comment that wounds Blonsky.
The former Abomination encourages Chuck to come back any time., but the screeching tires as the parole officer leaves suggest he won’t willingly do that again.
The encounter does provide Jen and Blonsky with an opportunity to speak, wherein the helpful (?) man notices that Jen is struggling.
Blonsky invites her to a therapy session, an idea which pleases her less than Chuck’s fear of another wackadoo ranch visit.
A weird encounter interrupts their discussion as – and I swear these are real names – Man-Bull and El Águila fight their way into damaging Jenn’s Prius.
The self-guru is helping the two men with some issues involving their co-dependent relationship. One’s allegedly not a matador, while the other is somewhat of a bull.
Group Therapy
Apparently, Blonsky has a good racket going at Summer Twilights. He offers guru services to Platinum Circle members, which sounds expensive.
There’s also a Sweat Yurt, where he invites Jen to spend 20 minutes. All she wants is Wi-Fi, though. That’s apparently the one thing unavailable at Summer Twilights.
Tim Roth is an absolute treasure throughout this episode. He sinks into the role of a frustrated self-help teacher while trying to reduce Jenn’s stress.
Later, the attorney accidentally stumbles into a group meeting at the lodge. There, she discovers Man-Bull and El Águila, plus Porcupine and Saracen.
Porcupine is a dude wearing an elaborate porcupine costume, while Saracen thinks he’s a vampire. This entire bit forcibly reminds me of the cosplayers from Hawkeye.
During a nine-episode season, She-Hulk has eschewed conventional storytelling in favor of several quirky standalone episodes.
Frankly, episode 7 isn’t my favorite of them. Still, I admire the ambition and daring of this creative choice. This show is almost stubbornly unconventional.
Also, if you were wondering, all these characters come from Marvel Comics. In fact, the Porcupine costume is remarkably accurate.
Of course, the real surprise occurs when a dude walks into the lodge and forces Jenn to break the fourth wall.
Sixteen minutes into the episode, she calls for a “Previously on…” montage to remind people that this character is Wrecker, one of the least competent Marvel villains ever.
Wrecker also led the recent assault on She-Hulk when those guys tried to steal her blood.
To his credit, Wrecker recognizes that he’s done wrong and is working on himself. So…yay?
The Power of the Calming Chair
She-Hulk suddenly appears and wrecks Wrecker.
A disappointed Blonsky sentences her to the Calming Chair, where she must listen while Wrecker discusses how he doesn’t need a “magic crowbar.”
Folks, if you know anything about Wrecker from the comics, that’s an A+++ joke right there.
Still, Blonsky’s tutelage shines through as Wrecker demonstrates legitimate personal growth. Meanwhile, She-Hulk hasn’t evolved that much yet.
Image: Disney
Eventually, she drops her walls and shares the story of getting ghosted. Porcupine describes her texts as “thirsty and a cliché.”
She-Hulk’s retort is, “You’re thirsty and a cliché.” I know it’s a basic reply, but I laughed hard.
Next, She-Hulk reveals another tweet wherein she just wants to know the guy is okay. It leads to this reply:
“I know it’s a bad look, Man-Bull.” This is high comedy, as Man-Bull is the reigning king of bad looks. You’ll see better at a cosplay convention.
After a time, the men in the group somehow help Jenn enough that she boldly enters the Sweat Yurt.
Again, an acerbic wit drives this bit of storytelling. While Jenn acts empowered during her voyage of self-discovery, we learn what really happened.
Josh never really liked Jenn or She-Hulk. He seduced her so that he could steal a vial of her blood, which is some real supervillain stuff right there.
No matter what your worst ex has done, they didn’t throw under that.
More importantly, someone has attained Hulk blood for nefarious purposes. That’s…not great.
Overall, this episode was genuinely wild. Try describing the details of the self-help session if you don’t believe me.
Still, I quite liked it, just not as much as a few others this season. So I’d give it an A-.
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