So the big news in Hollywood the last couple of week is that the “Super Mario Bros.” movie is a gigantic hit. However, during the “Weekend Update” segment of this week’s episode of NBC’s “SNL,” one particularly iconic Mario adjacent character dropped in to explain why he’s barely in the film.
That would be Funky Kong, Donkey Kong’s cousin and really good pal who first appeared in 1994’s Donkey Kong country. And since it was played by reigning “SNL” MVP Kenan Thompson, the sketch was an absolute delight.
“The New Mario Brothers movie is a huge hit and many fans. Were hoping for an appearance from one of the coolest characters in the Mario Universe Funky Kong. So here to talk about it is funky Kong,” “Weekend Update” co-anchor Colin Jost said as he set the gag up.
After a few pleasantries during which it was established that Funky Kong shows up in the background of, apparently, a single scene, Jost asked, “So you’re just in the background. What happened?”
“Man, they cut me out. I guess Funky Kong is too real. They don’t wanna hear what I got to say. And they sure as hell don’t wanna watch me work,” Thompson’s Funky said.
Thompson’s Funky Kong complained that he “thought I was gonna be all over this movie that just made $500 million, 600, but this is how much you get to see of me,” showing the barely-there moment in question.
Asked why, Thompson’s Funky Kong theorized: “Funky don’t throw no barrels. Funky Kong spends his day cruising in. Dropping off packages of the sticky, and I spend my nights with a glass of banana rum in a bed full of toads.”
“Right. And now are toads male or female?” asked Jost.
“Funky. Don’t know. Funky. Don’t ask,” he said.
After Jost said it’s a shame Funky wasn’t in the movie, and noted that Donkey Kong was a major character, Thompson’s Funky Kong replied, “Oh yeah, man. Donkey Kong is all up in it, but they ain’t even use Monkey Kong.
“Who’s Monkey Kong?” asked Jost.
“He’s a Donkey,” Thompson joked.
Continuing to explain why he wasn’t in the movie, Thompson’s Funky Kong said, “Because I was in my trailer drumming on booty cheeks, like bongos in the mini game. I was in there like, Booty cheeks, titty meat, booty cheeks, titty meat.”
The Thompson and Jost read from what they said was the “Super Mario Bros.” movie script containing Funky Kong’s cut scenes. Mainly, this involved normal “Super Mario Bros.” scenarios, and Funky Kong being very sexual. Then the bit ended with Funky Kong insisting that he’s had sex with Jost’s mom.
You can watch the whole thing above right now.
