When Only Murders in the Building was first advertised as a new show, people were stunned by the casting, not expecting a trio of Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez. It proved to be a great line-up, and in the three seasons that this series has been on, with a fourth on the way, the three of them have garnered a great following, and they have so much chemistry between them.
Martin, who writes the show with John Hoffman, is a true star, and his comedic timing works so well with Short and Gomez. While Short gets plenty of hilarious one-liners, Martin has a few in his pocket as well, but not only that, his lines often hold a deeper meaning rather than just being funny. Let’s take a look at Charles Haden Savage’s best quotes from the Hulu show, Only Murders in the Building.
10 “Sometimes it’s easier to figure out someone else’s secret than it is to deal with your own.”
In the first season of Only Murders in the Building, Charles’ personal life wasn’t shown as much, and Charles in general was a pretty private person. For most of the season, you’re wondering who Lucy is, a person that Charles mentions a few times throughout the episodes, and he has some pretty heavy baggage that follows him.
Charles, out of him, Mabel, and Oliver, is often the most philosophical of the three, and he has some pretty solid lines that’ll have you nodding your head in agreement, rather than cracking up or grimacing at something out of pocket. Charles says this while going through something from Lucy back when he was taking care of her, and it gives the audience insight as to why he’s so invested in this murder case.
9 “You know, I’m thinking of putting myself out there again. I mean, I slept with a murderer! That is a great story to tell on a first date.”
In season one, Charles fell in love with Jan, a woman who lived in his building, and coincidentally, was the murderer that he and his two best pals were trying to figure out. After Jan was arrested, Charles hit a dry spell of sorts until he was ready to move on and test his luck in the dating pool.
Charles is an awkward person overall, and Oliver often pokes fun at how unsuccessful he is when it comes to finding love, especially with what happened with Jan. Charles acknowledging it makes it even funnier since he has a certain cadence in his voice when he says it, his octave raised and sounding a bit exasperated.
8 “People who don’t pay their building fees are the worst. It makes the rest of our goes up.”
In the first episode of the series, Charles has a great introduction as he tells the audience why he loves New York City and all the things that make living there so great. Despite the challenges of blackouts, parking, and crime, Charles clearly loves living in the Arconia and wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.
When there’s a building meeting called for all tenants, Charles makes a comment about people not paying their building fees and how that affects everyone else, and it’s such an old person thing to say. It’s even funnier when you realize that Oliver doesn’t pay his building fees, so he’s adding to Charles’ pain.
7 “I can’t cry twice in one day. Unless I think of my dad. Or my mom. Or any moment in my childhood.”
This quote comes from season three, the newest installment, and the trio is trying to use different tactics in order to get into the back of a building. Oliver’s carrying a ladder, Mabel is wondering why she’s still working with these older men, and Charles is forcing himself to cry.
Later on, after the plan doesn’t work in their favor, Charles reveals that he can’t make himself emotional twice in one day. And then promptly gets emotional as he talks about his dad, mom, and childhood. It’s a funny moment when you don’t expect a laugh, as Charles unexpectedly gets sad when thinking of memories that could possibly bring forth a tear.
6 “This sends the investigation into a whole new direction.”
Throughout the entire series, Charles doesn’t let anyone forget that he starred in a cop show called Brazzos, and he had several seasons as the main character of the crime series. In certain episodes, they have flashbacks of episodes of Brazzos, and it’s funny to see Steve Martin as a “younger” version of himself, when it’s really just him with a different hair color.
Brazzos, of course, had a catchphrase, which is the quote above, and when he said it for the first time in Only Murders in the Building, you couldn’t help but laugh at how serious he was. Then, when he kept saying it, you might feel more inclined to agree with Oliver and Mabel’s reaction, which was annoyance.
5 “You won’t shoot my friends. Shoot me if you need to, but not them. Because I don’t want to live in a world without them.”
This quote comes during the finale of season one, after Jan drugs Charles in order to kill Mabel and Oliver and then promptly runs away. Charles, who’s stuffed into a stroller and out of his mind on the drugs that Jan gave him, thinks that he’s much more capable than he really is at the moment.
He folds himself out of the stroller and stands to his feet, where he then delivers a speech to Jan, wanting her to spare Mabel and Oliver and kill him instead. Charles goes on and on, thinking that he’s the hero of the moment, until it’s revealed that he’s still in the stroller and speaking complete gibberish.
4 “A cat never really leaves you because they transmit parasites.”
In season one, when the trio is trying to figure out who killed Tim Kono, their suspects are the people who make up the Arconia; one of whom being Howard. By season three, Howard has become more developed and hilarious, but in the first season he was still getting fleshed out; and this scene gave him some great depth.
After Tim Kono died, Howard’s cat also died, and when Charles and Mabel visit him to interrogate him, they discover that Howard has kept his dead cat in the freezer. It’s a hilarious moment as Charles accidentally rips off the cat’s frozen leg out of horror while Mabel tries to keep Howard’s attention on her. In an attempt to comfort Howard over the loss of his cat, Charles says this, disgusted and desperately needing to wash his hands.
3 “There’s a thin line between civilization and chaos, and that line is electricity.”
When the blackout hits in season two, chaos ensues and the entire building has to evacuate. Charles has this insightful line that’s both true and funny, as several people panicked when the lights went out, and they had to immediately leave the building. As they’re huffing it down the steps and Oliver has to regrettably leave his bag of dips behind, Charles says this line. If you have ever lived in New York City, then you’re aware that blackouts aren’t rare, and they often happen when it gets too hot in the summer. So, for Only Murders in the Building to feature something like this, made the show that much more realistic and funny.
2 “Even the elevator wanted that story to end.”
During the first meeting of this iconic trio, it happens in the elevator of the Arconia and Oliver launches himself into an unnecessary story to impress Mabel. Mabel is barely listening since she has on headphones, which is what catches Oliver’s attention in the beginning, and Charles is clearly perturbed that Oliver is talking so much.
It’s a funny comparison since the two are so close in the newest season, and how much of a difference there was in their friendship in this first season. Charles says this line, and it gives the audience a clue to his dry humor, and his reluctance to let Oliver tell a story.
Only Murders in the Building: Best Plot Twists in the Series, Ranked
1 “Well, my pants are still on, so that’s a good sign.”
During the third season, the plot revolves around Oliver’s musical, and Charles has one of the main parts, despite his immense stage fright. It only worsens for him when Oliver reveals that he has a rap now that the play is a musical, and Charles tries his best to get out of it, but to no avail. The first time that Charles attempts the rap when they’re doing a read-through, he blacks out and enters the “White Room”.
When he comes back from the white room, he’s not wearing pants and is genuinely a mess, while his cast mates are staring at him in horror. The second time he attempts it, he enters the white room again, but once he recovers, he’s pleased to see his pants are still on, even though he traumatized the cast once again with what he did.
