Romantic love: a universal feeling that people want to experience at least once in their lifetime. The one feeling that has inspired individuals to soften, to bear out their feelings through actions, songs, movies, and art. The feeling that has changed the lives of many, for the better or the worse. One thing for sure is that we do not always fall in love with the right person for us, nor do we always control who we fall in love with. Love takes two to tango; it takes two to make it work out in the long run. Romance has been the subject of many movies over the years because people see themselves through the screen. They elicit strong emotions in the viewer and offer vulnerability, warmth, and swoon-worthy scenes in two hours.
However, with a myriad of movies with a lack of development in the plot, happy endings, and unrealistic scenes and messages that set unrealistic expectations, romantic movies are often far from reality yet many people use them as a reference. While it is good to know, romantic movies are a wonderful way to depict the beauty of this feeling, their formula is not always the healthiest for those who are truly looking to find and keep love in their lives. Yet, there are still a good number of movies that aim to speak about love realistically.
9 Definitely, Maybe (2008)
Definitely, Maybe is a movie directed by Adam Brooks starring Ryan Reynolds, Abigail Breslin, Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Banks, and Rachel Weisz. It follows the life of a political consultant, Will Hayes, who is trying to explain to his daughter Maya why he and her mother are divorcing in a tale that involves all the women he loved. He tells his story in flashbacks starting with his first serious girlfriend until his current situation and through his dissection and analysis of his love life, he and his daughter can draw some life-changing conclusions.
Definitely, Maybe takes a mature approach to love, one that is honest and nowhere near perfect. The truth is, love isn’t always perfect; it isn’t always simple, and it doesn’t always work out. Sometimes you have to date the wrong people to get to the right one. Sometimes, love alone is not enough, and you need to share compatibility, life goals, and ethics. Sometimes people miss chances or don’t communicate what they feel. They mess up or miss a chance.
Yet, what makes Definitely, Maybe truly refreshing is that it shows you all the reasons why your relationship with someone might not make it. It shows you that there might not necessarily always be one person for you, but that there is always perhaps a chance with someone. It doesn’t promise anything; it just candidly portrays the life of a man who took a few chances on love and how the meaning of love changed for him over time.
This romantic comedy does feel light, but its charm and rawness are truly memorable. On top of that it has an excellent cast that brings each character to life, which adds so much depth and heart to the movie.
8 500 Days of Summer (2009)
500 Days of Summer is a movie directed by Marc Webb. It handles the topic of love quite differently than most. It features Zooey Deschanel as Summer and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tom, who embarks on a romance that starts off sweetly, but that ends in a way Tom does not expect. After a terrible break-up that Tom didn’t see coming, he is forced to face his notions of love and romanticism, which opens his eyes to a new approach and understanding of love. 500 Days of Summer doesn’t offer the perfect happy ending formula. It is an introspective movie that explores the idea of soul mates, compatibility, and how one can not be on the same page with their partner.
It shows a genuine mental discourse from someone who thought they had made it in love and had that completely shattered, but it is also a narrative that invites growth and is a movie that many will relate to, especially when it comes to failed romances. This movie takes you on a journey that will make you feel all kinds of things as it highlights the pre-romance, the romance, and post-breakup with all the feelings that they encompass.
7 Pride and Prejudice (2005)
This swoon-worthy and Oscar-nominated movie is a classic romance movie everyone should at least watch once. Pride and Prejudice is based on the novel written by Jane Austen in 1813 and directed by Joe Wright. Not only is this movie full of gorgeous cinematography and costume design and a very well-written dialog, but it also explores love from themes such as pride and prejudice. These two themes are ever-present in everyone’s daily life and are one that keeps surprising and humbling all those who dare to think they know anything all too well.
Stars Keira Knightley and Mathew MacFadyen, who together have stunning chemistry on screen, make this movie such a delicate and heart-touching experience to watch. Set in the English countryside, in the late 18th century, the Bennet family set out to find wealthy suitors from the Bingley family for their own daughters.
However, their daughter doesn’t get on too well with Mr. Darcy, who comes from the Bingley family. This movie beautifully depicts a build-up of two people softening and opening their hearts to each other. Though, the journey isn’t easy and is full of issues revolving around misunderstandings and biases that they have to work through. Much like in real life, love is often damaged by wounded egos, and fickle ways of handling this powerful emotion. This movie highlights the vulnerability, courage, and openness it takes to experience romantic love in its purest form.
6 Before We Go (2014)
Before We Go is a film directed by and starring Chris Evans and Alice Eve in a graceful union that helps two individuals develop a soulful connection that is full of emotional intimacy. Part of why this movie is very special is that it has well-written dialogue that will pull at your heartstrings. The two main protagonists meet in Manhattan, where they are stuck for the night and end up encountering one of the most honest, emotionally-wrenching nights of their lives. This movie explores the idea of what makes someone connect with someone so profoundly.
It explores the in-betweens and what-ifs, the past, future and present. Nick and Brook, the two protagonists, slowly confide in each other through an enchanting walk through New York City. Each with emotional baggage of their own, and romantic relationships they have to deal with, this movie is such a beautiful depiction of hope and sadness at the same time. It is thought-provoking as it explores the idea of commitment, the inability to get over someone, and the true rarity of finding true lasting love that is both mentally, physically, and emotionally satisfying. Yet, it is a beautiful tease into making profound choices when it comes to love and life and that love can be experienced in different ways, and different timelines even if it doesn’t last a lifetime.
5 Our Souls At Night (2017)
Our Souls At Night is a romance-drama based on the novel written by Kent Haruf, starring Jane Fonda as Addie Moore and Robert Redford as Louis Waters, and was directed by Ritesh Batra. It tells the story of two widowed neighbors who have been living across from each other for years. When Addie makes a proposal to Robert, their lives start to take an uplifting turn that soothes both their existence and looming loneliness. Our Souls At Night takes a hard look at older individuals who have lost their partners and who have had their kids grow up; leading separate lives. Having a family that is slowly fizzling out or that does not have the lively shape it once had can be heartbreaking and hard to swallow. However, in this poignant movie, Addie tries to fight off her loneliness by offering Robert to sleep next to her each night to keep her company and to converse about life so that they get a healthy dose of daily interactions.
This beautiful movie isn’t a full-blown romance with outstanding gestures; it is rather simple. It highlights how two people can make it work by putting in the effort, and by taking an interest in each other despite their complete differences, and that it could be a slow but fulfilling process if you choose to accept it for what it is. This movie doesn’t play on the idea of soulmates, or flying romantic sparks, or unfathomable attraction. It is rather a sweet portrayal of people who choose to enjoy each other’s company and see the value of what that brings. It also doesn’t shy away from showing the hiccups, awkwardness, and discomfort that comes with trying to get close to someone but rather focuses on choice and effort to build a beautiful foundation with someone over time.
4 No Strings Attached (2011)
No Strings Attached is a romantic comedy starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher as Emma and Adam and was directed by Ivan Reitman. The movie’s premise sees the two long-term friends who decide that they will have a physical relationship without any strings attached. They will sleep together and have no expectations from each other to keep their friendship from getting messy. However, things do still get messy when emotions get involved.
Even though the movie’s plot plays out exactly as you expect them to, it does tackle a very important aspect in relationships, which is the difficulty of keeping things platonic when physicalities get introduced. A relationship usually consists of a solid emotional and physical connection and so when both are present, it is very hard to not fall in love. Though, in real life, many jump head first when being involved with someone, overestimating their capacity not to catch feelings. This movie is a good reminder that while being physical with someone might not always lead you to falling in love, you might definitely be playing with fire. At the end, the movie is an enjoyable romance; however, at its core, it will have you moving with caution.
3 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a movie with a unique and refreshing plot that will leave you thinking for days. Starring Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, and directed by Michel Gondry, this movie is a dance with the concept of memory. After a terrible breakup, Clementine erases Joel from her memory in an attempt to move on from the painful memories that haunt her, aiming to reestablish a clean slate of her life. Feeling better, Joel also goes to erase the memory of Clementine, but in the process he finds himself struggling to erase her despite the pain.
This movie takes you on a trip down memory lane with all its sourness, sweetness and nostalgia and what it means for the narrative of your life. It makes you question whether we should render something as horrible just because it ended badly, or rather cherish it for all that it was. In this thought-provoking movie, we are reminded that all we have are memories, memories that are worth rescuing or memories that we want to erase, and either way they change everything. With beautiful cinematography, and a stellar performance by Carrey and Kate Winslet, and a plot twist at the end, anyone who has had a harsh breakup with someone they once loved will relate to the concept.
2 Silver Lining’s Playbook (2012)
This Oscar-winning film is based on a book written by Mathew Quick. It was directed by David. O. Russel. It tells the story of Pat (Bradley Cooper), who suffered from bipolar disorder that has made him quite aggressive, resulting in him being sent to a health institution to get treatment. However, when he gets out, he moves in with his parents, and aims to get back to his wife. However, when he meets Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), a woman with psychological problems of her own, they set out to help one another achieve their goal. This union makes them develop an intense connection that’s filled with difficult, uncomfortable feelings, yet tender and caring ones, too. Silver Linings Playbook looks at the personalities of people with mental illnesses, and the way they handle themselves, as well as their difficulty in being accepted for who they are.
This movie is essentially a dark film about people trying to repair their lives and find their silver lining. This film does a good job of portraying people’s flaws and the cost that comes with saying to someone you love them wholeheartedly if you truly intend to be there for them. Silver Linings Playbook explores real problems and the testing times anyone has living with a mental illness, as well as the strength and patience it takes to understand someone who has it. It’s a reminder that the people we love are a package, a package full of beauty and imperfections; that we have to be able to see them for who they truly are and to wholeheartedly accept them so that a loving relationship can begin to blossom. However, what sets lovers apart is their inability to make it work, to see eye to eye and to accept each other, which is a great reminder that you have to choose who you want to struggle with.
1 Hope Springs (2012)
Hope Springs tells the story of Kay and Arnold, played by Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones respectively, and was directed by David Frankel. A couple who has been married for 30 years tries to rekindle their spark and romance through counseling sessions. Long-term commitment takes effort and compassion, and over time people can find themselves drifting apart. In the case of Kay and Arnold, their marriage was loveless and lacked meaningful interactions. However, much to Kay’s insistence to save their marriage through couples therapy, they are able to understand where things went stale between them. This movie looks at what realistically happens to some relationships over time if neglected. However, it shows that things can be turned around if a couple is willing to try to approach things differently. It’s a reminder not to always give up on your relationship, that it takes thoughtfulness and that while your love might not always be a blazing romance all the time, it doesn’t mean that it has been doomed for good.
With that being said, romantic light-hearted comedies that have you swooning do have their own charm where they help you escape to warm world for a while. It’s just important to get the bigger picture and not use a blockbuster movie as a complete reference for how things are supposed to look like when it comes to love because it is never as simple as that.
