Comedian Groucho Marx began his career as part of The Marx Brothers, a comedy team famous for classic films like “Duck Soup” and “Animal Crackers.” Known for his spontaneous wit and distinctive mustached appearance, Groucho Marx’ wisecracking persona is one of the most iconic in comedy history.
With so many off-the-cuff zingers in person, especially during his time on “You Bet Your Life,” Grouch Marx quotes are often difficult to credit. Classics like “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana,” which is frequently attributed to him, may be a misquote – though it is very possible Groucho Marx said the line at some point. The joke, “these are my principles. If you don’t like them, well, I have others” also dates back before the comedian’s use of the phrase. Similarly, Groucho himself denied ever saying the oft-cited insult, “I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
Here are ten jokes and witticisms from the comic.
1. “Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.”
― Groucho Marx, from his autobiography, “Groucho and Me”
2. “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
― “The Essential Groucho: Writings For, By and About Groucho Marx”
3. “I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.”
― “The Essential Groucho: Writings For, By and About Groucho Marx”
4. “Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.”
― Groucho Marx in “Monkey Business”
5. “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
― Attributed to Groucho Marx
6. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
― Attributed to Groucho Marx
7. “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.”
― Groucho Marx in “Animal Crackers”
8. “If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.”
― Attributed to Groucho Marx
9. “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.”
― Attributed to Groucho Marx
10. “Why a four-year-old child could understand this report! Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can’t make head or tail of it.”
― Groucho Marx in “Duck Soup”
S36 Ep8
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